Hit Me Baby... One More Time

Last weekend, I sat through a seminar on "effective communication skills" and the lecturer abruptly shifted the topic to, domestic abuse and the difficultly of persuading these women to leave these life and death relationships.

The statistics tell us that most women will choose to stay in physically abusive relationships... even though they realize that the abuser could potentially kill them.

The majority of women in these extremely toxic relationships make statements like "He/she loves me...I just should shut my mouth sometimes" or basically just make excuses for the behavior of the abuser.

Now, I personally believe these women. I believe that "they".... believe that the abuser loves them.
What I want to say to anyone in one of these situations is.... there is a difference between love and obsession.
Love is... never wanting the other person to be unhappy, or hurt. Love is....NOT inflicting physical PAIN upon the other person.
Obsession.... however, is wanting total control over another person.

I have also over the years came in contact with women who "overlook" the black eye or broken arm because they assaulted the man first.
Well....again I am going to have to disagree with this argument. Let's say Mari is 5 foot 3 inches tall and weighs 100 pounds on a good day... her partner Jeremy is over 6 feet tall weighing in at about 225 pounds. Now that you have a visual.... What if Mari punched him 3 times in the face... and Jeremy punched Mari once? Who is at fault?
Look at the photo above Chris Brown is not a large man and Rihanna admitted to hitting him first. Who is at fault?

Now the politically correct answer is "Both, any violence is wrong"
Bullshit. His hand is literally as large as her head! If he punched her once with any force her check will shatter her nose will break.
This will NOT be the last time Jeremy hits Mari if she chooses to stay.
Look at what Chris Brown did to Rihanna's face!
How many people in physically abusive relationships only get hit once??? How many abusers get treatment and change??? If you know ANY please inform me.

There is a negative stereotype surrounding domestic violence. It is NOT a poor persons plight. I know women who have Dr. as their title and lots of zeros on pay checks who have stayed with men after they have fucked their faces up!
Why? Because they are dehumanized by the event and are too ashamed to talk to anyone.
Ultimately they feel alone.

If you or anyone you know anyone in one of these extremely toxic relationships encourage them to seek professional help. Leaving will be difficult and they will need a strong support system to keep them from going back, and allowing the cycle of abuse to repeat itself...

Do NOT let the abuser cloud your judgement... or belittle you into thinking that it was your fault.
Going back to the abuser is basically giving the green light for future abuse you might as well say "Hit me baby, One More Time"