There is a calm before a storm, there is also a silence before a major verbal attack.
This silence is deafening it is filled with fear... the only thing a person hears is their pounding heart beat in their ear.
Your awareness is heightened... you cringe as you anticipate the brutal lashing that will ensue... you hear footsteps and a door open... suddenly your body tenses as if you were bracing for a car crash.
Words...
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me" Bullshit.
"Bitch, Whore, you are worthless, you are nothing, I hate you, I despise the air you breathe, I wish you would die."
These are only words.... right?
No, these words, are weapons of mass destruction to your soul.
Words can cripple you mentally and emotionally.
Even if a person realizes that the words are not true... the impact of hearing these words from someone who "loves" you is life shattering.
The person on the receiving end of this verbal attack is most likely silent or sobbing...praying for .... silence.
If you are reading this and thinking "Well, that's crazy to allow someone to stay in your life who would speak to you that way" Yes. It is.
But everyday there is someone in this world suffering not by physical abuse... but by verbal/mental abuse. For those people YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I do not know you personally, but I will assure you that YOU are WONDERFUL person. The reason I know this is because you are one of GODs creations and you believe in second, third, fourth, chances. That is a wonderful personality trait.
With that being said, you have to learn to acknowledge that someone who "loves" you would NEVER, EVER, purposely attempt to cause you to feel negatively about yourself.
Life is too short to live in fear of ....the silence before the storm.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
RELASPE
Ok.... deep breath... I have RELASPED!
I am smoking AGAIN.
I know. I know.
This time was suppose to be different...
I want to go to smokers rehab.. A nice 30 day spa like rehab... instead of those stupid patches.
Point is.... RELASPE happens...
Maybe you are a smoker who is trying to quit, an addict trying not to use, an alcholic trying not to drink, or maybe you are trying not to call that pyscho in your life.
It's ok... we all will fall down eventually... but it's how we get back up that really matters.
Do not beat your self up over it... take a deep breath learn from it and TRY AGAIN.
I am smoking AGAIN.
I know. I know.
This time was suppose to be different...
I want to go to smokers rehab.. A nice 30 day spa like rehab... instead of those stupid patches.
Point is.... RELASPE happens...
Maybe you are a smoker who is trying to quit, an addict trying not to use, an alcholic trying not to drink, or maybe you are trying not to call that pyscho in your life.
It's ok... we all will fall down eventually... but it's how we get back up that really matters.
Do not beat your self up over it... take a deep breath learn from it and TRY AGAIN.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Savior Complex....
There are people that see a train wreck coming and they simply say "oh no there's going to be a wreck, I hope there are no causalities" then these people move on with their lives and rarely look back.
I admire these detached individuals!
On the opposite spectrum there are the people who not only see the train wreck... they actually sense the wreck before it is clear to others...
They swoop down with their capes and try to save everyone....
This is not an admirable trait. It is the infliction of the "Savior Complex".
People who suffer from the Savior Complex lack the ability to...let go... when the person they are trying to "fix" does not want help.
Have you ever tried to help someone? The person may be in a toxic rabid relationship but they will NOT leave the person who is abusive to them. Perhaps the person is bipolar and refuses to take their medication properly to ease their syptoms. Most common is the person who suffers from a serious drug problem.
Now the majority of society will look at these situations feel sympathy... but will not get involved. Kind of like the commercials on TV about starving children, you look and say "oh that's horrible that those children are suffering" but then you change the channel to QVC and order a Coach purse.
Does that make you a "bad" person??? No, you are simply detached.
The "fixers" will literally loose themselves in the problems of others. They become emotionally drained, depleted of hope.
These people want to believe in the "potential" of others. They see the children in the TV comercial and immediately call sponsor a child and start planning a fund raiser within their community to send to help. Only no one in the community wants to help...they are too detached to care.
If you know an addict then chances are you know someone who has repeatedly tried to help them, usually a family member or a spouse. To what extent would you go to "save" the person you love from standing in front that train??
The reality of an addict is always that they are one drink, one hit, one line, one pill away from overdose....death.
With that realization, how far would you go to "make" them stop using?? Do you follow them to the bar/dealer? Do you take the keys, money, credit cards as if they are a child?? Do you hide your own purse/wallet in your own home??
For all of you out there who are inflicted with the "Savior Complex" let me "save" you. It is simply an illusion to think you can "make" someone stop using drugs/drink. You take their keys....they will walk or have the drugs delivered to them - yes, for a price you can get drug curb side service. If you take their money.... they WILL steal from you. Do not fool yourself, the wealthiest snottiest white kids from elite private schools - WILL steal from you, if they have zero money and want to get high. SAD BUT TRUE!
YOU CANNOT SAVE PEOPLE WHO DO NOT WANT TO BE SAVED!!
If a people desires death - you could lock them in a padded cell and they will hold their breath til they passed out. Which is the whole point...people eventually do what they WANT to do. Addicts get sober...when THEY WANT to...not because you forced them to. You have a stronger chance of curing hunger than keeping someone sober who does not want to be.
It is NOT your fault - LET GO.
People have to save themselves.
I admire these detached individuals!
On the opposite spectrum there are the people who not only see the train wreck... they actually sense the wreck before it is clear to others...
They swoop down with their capes and try to save everyone....
This is not an admirable trait. It is the infliction of the "Savior Complex".
People who suffer from the Savior Complex lack the ability to...let go... when the person they are trying to "fix" does not want help.
Have you ever tried to help someone? The person may be in a toxic rabid relationship but they will NOT leave the person who is abusive to them. Perhaps the person is bipolar and refuses to take their medication properly to ease their syptoms. Most common is the person who suffers from a serious drug problem.
Now the majority of society will look at these situations feel sympathy... but will not get involved. Kind of like the commercials on TV about starving children, you look and say "oh that's horrible that those children are suffering" but then you change the channel to QVC and order a Coach purse.
Does that make you a "bad" person??? No, you are simply detached.
The "fixers" will literally loose themselves in the problems of others. They become emotionally drained, depleted of hope.
These people want to believe in the "potential" of others. They see the children in the TV comercial and immediately call sponsor a child and start planning a fund raiser within their community to send to help. Only no one in the community wants to help...they are too detached to care.
If you know an addict then chances are you know someone who has repeatedly tried to help them, usually a family member or a spouse. To what extent would you go to "save" the person you love from standing in front that train??
The reality of an addict is always that they are one drink, one hit, one line, one pill away from overdose....death.
With that realization, how far would you go to "make" them stop using?? Do you follow them to the bar/dealer? Do you take the keys, money, credit cards as if they are a child?? Do you hide your own purse/wallet in your own home??
For all of you out there who are inflicted with the "Savior Complex" let me "save" you. It is simply an illusion to think you can "make" someone stop using drugs/drink. You take their keys....they will walk or have the drugs delivered to them - yes, for a price you can get drug curb side service. If you take their money.... they WILL steal from you. Do not fool yourself, the wealthiest snottiest white kids from elite private schools - WILL steal from you, if they have zero money and want to get high. SAD BUT TRUE!
YOU CANNOT SAVE PEOPLE WHO DO NOT WANT TO BE SAVED!!
If a people desires death - you could lock them in a padded cell and they will hold their breath til they passed out. Which is the whole point...people eventually do what they WANT to do. Addicts get sober...when THEY WANT to...not because you forced them to. You have a stronger chance of curing hunger than keeping someone sober who does not want to be.
It is NOT your fault - LET GO.
People have to save themselves.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Dumb and Dumber....
Dumb and Dumber are a couple a with Level 5 RabiesLove.
Now to qualify for Level 5 RabiesLove Status these are the requirement...
*Both people MUST be individual Rabid Hot Messes before meeting.
*Both people MUST have individual addictions before meeting.
*Both people MUST have been involved in numerous failed previous relationships.
OK now that we have established the criteria ...
Jose and Jessica come from "good" families. Jessica and Jose both in their early twenties had promising careers, large circles of friends, and were the life of the party. They had met but were already involved with other people.
Fast forward a few years.... for most adults the party stops or at least tappers off somewhat. Then there are the people who have crossed the line of social drug use into full blown addicts.
By the time that Jose runs into Jessica again he has had several failed marriages, a failed career, failed rehab attempts, and he was barely 30.
Jessica has her own laundry lists of failures due to her love affair with crack.
Can you see the train wreck coming????
Jose and Jessica go out one time and that's all it took. Infected... LEVEL 5.
Jose is immediately making proclamations of sobriety that with Jessica he can conquer drug addiction because she understands him like no one else before.
Jessica also says she is going to get clean and find a job.
Everyone around them are screaming "NO! NO! NO! She is Dumb and he is Dumber"
But Jose and Jessica are both in the "manic" phase of RabiesLove, which means... everything is Perfect, wonderful, utter bliss... actually it is a natural high.
It's important to remember it is just a "phase".
For a while they were sober and they both were able to find jobs...
But the "Rabid Hot Mess" phase took over when Jose found out that Jessica had relapsed.... that little rock....is a bad bitch.
So depressed, Jose also relapsed...so now they are getting high together. Jose had a cocaine problem, a pill problem, a meth problem...but he had never smoked crack.
Now they are jobless, broke... Jessica is blowing old ass drug dealers for crack.
Jose is becoming violent.... because he finds out Jessica is blowing drug dealers. The police are called. They break up. They get back together. They break up.....
Months, turn into years.
Jose and Jessica are currently together and they are still very active addicts. Jessica is still trading her body for drugs and Jose is proclaiming that he cannot live with her... and that he cannot live without her...
It's RabiesLove Level 5.
Jessica is Dumb and Jose is Dumber...
Now to qualify for Level 5 RabiesLove Status these are the requirement...
*Both people MUST be individual Rabid Hot Messes before meeting.
*Both people MUST have individual addictions before meeting.
*Both people MUST have been involved in numerous failed previous relationships.
OK now that we have established the criteria ...
Jose and Jessica come from "good" families. Jessica and Jose both in their early twenties had promising careers, large circles of friends, and were the life of the party. They had met but were already involved with other people.
Fast forward a few years.... for most adults the party stops or at least tappers off somewhat. Then there are the people who have crossed the line of social drug use into full blown addicts.
By the time that Jose runs into Jessica again he has had several failed marriages, a failed career, failed rehab attempts, and he was barely 30.
Jessica has her own laundry lists of failures due to her love affair with crack.
Can you see the train wreck coming????
Jose and Jessica go out one time and that's all it took. Infected... LEVEL 5.
Jose is immediately making proclamations of sobriety that with Jessica he can conquer drug addiction because she understands him like no one else before.
Jessica also says she is going to get clean and find a job.
Everyone around them are screaming "NO! NO! NO! She is Dumb and he is Dumber"
But Jose and Jessica are both in the "manic" phase of RabiesLove, which means... everything is Perfect, wonderful, utter bliss... actually it is a natural high.
It's important to remember it is just a "phase".
For a while they were sober and they both were able to find jobs...
But the "Rabid Hot Mess" phase took over when Jose found out that Jessica had relapsed.... that little rock....is a bad bitch.
So depressed, Jose also relapsed...so now they are getting high together. Jose had a cocaine problem, a pill problem, a meth problem...but he had never smoked crack.
Now they are jobless, broke... Jessica is blowing old ass drug dealers for crack.
Jose is becoming violent.... because he finds out Jessica is blowing drug dealers. The police are called. They break up. They get back together. They break up.....
Months, turn into years.
Jose and Jessica are currently together and they are still very active addicts. Jessica is still trading her body for drugs and Jose is proclaiming that he cannot live with her... and that he cannot live without her...
It's RabiesLove Level 5.
Jessica is Dumb and Jose is Dumber...
Saturday, March 19, 2011
BEWARE of the WEEKENDS...
If you are inflicted with RabiesLove for a person who does not Love you the weekends are your enemy!
It is easier to avoid your Rabid feelings during the work week. Then Friday night rolls around and.... if you are alone then it will take will power not to call or rally friends over for a "drive by"!
It is of the utmost importance that if your phone rings or you get a text after 11pm DO NOT RESPOND!!!
I repeat DO NOT RESPOND!!
This person that YOU are consumed with is obviously just calling for any type of sex! Even if it is just phone sex!
Do you really want to be someone's sex hotline???
Men/Women do not call after 11pm, if you are in the same time zone, to ask about your day. No they call and ask "So what are you wearing?" or "You have been on my mind all day"
Really???
If you were on their mind ALL DAY... they would have invited you on a REAL DATE to dinner, movie, not a late night sex call because the person they were on a REAL DATE with did not put out.
SAD BUT TRUE!!
So, on your weekend, keep busy. Start a project. Surround your self with people who truly love you. If all of this fails...take Ambein with a glass of wine and sleep until Monday.
It is easier to avoid your Rabid feelings during the work week. Then Friday night rolls around and.... if you are alone then it will take will power not to call or rally friends over for a "drive by"!
It is of the utmost importance that if your phone rings or you get a text after 11pm DO NOT RESPOND!!!
I repeat DO NOT RESPOND!!
This person that YOU are consumed with is obviously just calling for any type of sex! Even if it is just phone sex!
Do you really want to be someone's sex hotline???
Men/Women do not call after 11pm, if you are in the same time zone, to ask about your day. No they call and ask "So what are you wearing?" or "You have been on my mind all day"
Really???
If you were on their mind ALL DAY... they would have invited you on a REAL DATE to dinner, movie, not a late night sex call because the person they were on a REAL DATE with did not put out.
SAD BUT TRUE!!
So, on your weekend, keep busy. Start a project. Surround your self with people who truly love you. If all of this fails...take Ambein with a glass of wine and sleep until Monday.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
TODAY IS THE DAY....
Do you have something tearing away at you today?
Maybe someone you love is sick..
Maybe someone you love is killing themselves with an addiction..
Maybe you are fighting the urge to call him/her..
Maybe you are fighting the urge to stalk someone on the Internet..
Maybe you are fighting the urge to eat something fried or with lots of chocolate!
Or maybe you are just seriously fighting the urge to SMOKE!!
TODAY IS THE DAY.... that you will STOP THE MADNESS that is controlling your life.
Fear of failure is not an option today! After all tomorrow is a brand new day so why not at least try?
When did you forget that you are CEO of your world??
If someone you love is sick... I am deeply sorry! I assure you what that loved one needs is for you to stop worrying about them (they are doing that enough for both of you) and find ways to incorporate some fun in their last days!
If you love someone who is an addict... I feel your pain so do I.
But WORRY will not help them get sober... you cannot save them. They must be willing to save themselves! Here's the reality all YOUR worry will make you sick, ie heart problems, stomach ulcers, sleepless nights... What will eventually happen is YOU will DIE! The addict will then get high.. because they are sad you are dead.. so what have you accomplished other than giving your addict yet another excuse to drink or use drugs?
Do not call or stalk the person that deep down YOU know YOU DO NOT NEED to be with...
This is setting yourself up for heartache! They will not answer the phone or if they do it WILL be the same bullshit it always is and you will gain nothing by going through their friend list on Facebook simply because chances are... they ARE friends with beautiful people! No one has a Rolodex of ugly people... seriously, you will just drive yourself mad trying to figure out "how" they know these beautiful people.
You WILL regret that double fudge batch of brownies.... and then you will feel sad and have to eat a pint of ice cream to console yourself...then when you look at your ass in the mirror... chances are, you will cry!
As for that SMOKE... well I am telling myself that I really don't need a cig to calm down, after a great meal, or after great sex ... just for today! And yes I know at some point today I will be stressed out, that I will have a great meal, and that I WILL have great sex today!!
How do I know all this?? Because is TODAY IS THE DAY and I am the fucking CEO of MY WORLD!
Maybe someone you love is sick..
Maybe someone you love is killing themselves with an addiction..
Maybe you are fighting the urge to call him/her..
Maybe you are fighting the urge to stalk someone on the Internet..
Maybe you are fighting the urge to eat something fried or with lots of chocolate!
Or maybe you are just seriously fighting the urge to SMOKE!!
TODAY IS THE DAY.... that you will STOP THE MADNESS that is controlling your life.
Fear of failure is not an option today! After all tomorrow is a brand new day so why not at least try?
When did you forget that you are CEO of your world??
If someone you love is sick... I am deeply sorry! I assure you what that loved one needs is for you to stop worrying about them (they are doing that enough for both of you) and find ways to incorporate some fun in their last days!
If you love someone who is an addict... I feel your pain so do I.
But WORRY will not help them get sober... you cannot save them. They must be willing to save themselves! Here's the reality all YOUR worry will make you sick, ie heart problems, stomach ulcers, sleepless nights... What will eventually happen is YOU will DIE! The addict will then get high.. because they are sad you are dead.. so what have you accomplished other than giving your addict yet another excuse to drink or use drugs?
Do not call or stalk the person that deep down YOU know YOU DO NOT NEED to be with...
This is setting yourself up for heartache! They will not answer the phone or if they do it WILL be the same bullshit it always is and you will gain nothing by going through their friend list on Facebook simply because chances are... they ARE friends with beautiful people! No one has a Rolodex of ugly people... seriously, you will just drive yourself mad trying to figure out "how" they know these beautiful people.
You WILL regret that double fudge batch of brownies.... and then you will feel sad and have to eat a pint of ice cream to console yourself...then when you look at your ass in the mirror... chances are, you will cry!
As for that SMOKE... well I am telling myself that I really don't need a cig to calm down, after a great meal, or after great sex ... just for today! And yes I know at some point today I will be stressed out, that I will have a great meal, and that I WILL have great sex today!!
How do I know all this?? Because is TODAY IS THE DAY and I am the fucking CEO of MY WORLD!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
RabiesLove ~ Kills...
Why does RabiesLove Kill???
Quite simply... consumption.
Have you ever had a thought or a problem or a person that you could not seem to control your self from dwelling on?
How many hours or days or years have you WASTED worrying over someone?
The reason I say WASTED is because... did all your worry help or change anything or anyone???
No but the toxic situation has CONSUMED you!
No one ever looks back on their life and states.."Wow, I really wish I could go back and worry a little more!"
When a person or a thing is consuming you it is slowly killing parts of inner self!
RabiesLove changes people. Any toxic unhealthy relationship chips away little by little at your inner core.
You may not even realize it - when you are engulfed in the chaos it is difficult to have a clear perception.
I have witnessed strong independent women loose themselves and appear to be totally different people when in they are in the trenches of RabiesLove.
Men who would have NEVER stayed with a cheating girlfriend/boyfriend... somehow change into to weaklings because their ego is destroyed. The pain of the relationship consumes these indivduals' thought processes it may be all they talk about on a given day.
Let me be clear RabiesLove does not have to be a death sentence! It is never too late to start anew and learn from our misguided lives!
Your story may save or inspire someone else to leave an unhealthy relationship.
If you are in an active Rabid environment just remember this thought...
"You do not have to put up with the crazy shit today... just because you did in the past" Even if it is baby steps in the direction to a new life it is a start.
RabiesLove will change you and it has the potential to kill that "inner you" slowly...
Repeat after me... Today is a New Day to be RabiesLove Free!!
Quite simply... consumption.
Have you ever had a thought or a problem or a person that you could not seem to control your self from dwelling on?
How many hours or days or years have you WASTED worrying over someone?
The reason I say WASTED is because... did all your worry help or change anything or anyone???
No but the toxic situation has CONSUMED you!
No one ever looks back on their life and states.."Wow, I really wish I could go back and worry a little more!"
When a person or a thing is consuming you it is slowly killing parts of inner self!
RabiesLove changes people. Any toxic unhealthy relationship chips away little by little at your inner core.
You may not even realize it - when you are engulfed in the chaos it is difficult to have a clear perception.
I have witnessed strong independent women loose themselves and appear to be totally different people when in they are in the trenches of RabiesLove.
Men who would have NEVER stayed with a cheating girlfriend/boyfriend... somehow change into to weaklings because their ego is destroyed. The pain of the relationship consumes these indivduals' thought processes it may be all they talk about on a given day.
Let me be clear RabiesLove does not have to be a death sentence! It is never too late to start anew and learn from our misguided lives!
Your story may save or inspire someone else to leave an unhealthy relationship.
If you are in an active Rabid environment just remember this thought...
"You do not have to put up with the crazy shit today... just because you did in the past" Even if it is baby steps in the direction to a new life it is a start.
RabiesLove will change you and it has the potential to kill that "inner you" slowly...
Repeat after me... Today is a New Day to be RabiesLove Free!!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
RABID HOT MESS = TV GOLD
Self Aware... we must realize that although there are NO perfect relationships but thankfully there are healthy ones!
At first I assumed that it was just Gen Xers that fell into the RabieLove trap. The majority of this generation came from broken homes and either they first hand witnessed verbal or physical abuse and countless boyfriends/girlfriends or they lived with a single mother who worked two or three jobs and could have cared less about a relationship.
But then... I look at this younger 24 and under generation and I think... No they are infected with RabiesLove by the masses!
Example: Jersey Shore on MTV I mean I could not illustrate a more perfect image of RabiesLove than castmates Sam and Ron!
Seriously, Sam and Ron NEED to be apart, period. No one on the show wants this couple to work out because they are a RABID HOT MESS together.
This example works because they are at times ok and "in love" again this is just a phase of the disease... each fight weather alcochol induced or not becomes more verbally abusive and the disease progresses with every fight.
Sam appears to have lost her sense of "self" Ron may be the nicest guy in the world and it may truly just be Sam that brings out his destructive nature in him.
The more Sam and Ron fight the higher the ratings, people take to the message boards choosing sides and casting blame. TV GOLD!
Do you think that either one Sam or Ron sit around and WANT this crazy relationship?
It is not like everyone hasn't told them that they do not need to be in a relationship..But something keeps pulling Sam and Ron back into it again and again! (Or at least that was the case last season) People its RabiesLove!
Is this their Fairytale romance? Hell No! It's RabiesLove!
This may just be limited to the American society... let me know... but our society as a whole we LOVE Rabid Hot Messes!
Charlie Sheen...the male epitome of a Rabid Hot Mess, is on every morning show and we want MORE! How much coke does he snort? How many porn stars has he slept with? Did he last a long time? How many wives has he threatened to kill? WE WANT TO KNOW!
TV RATINGS GOLD!
Brittany Spears, Anna Nicole Smith, and Lindsey Lohan put any of these women on the cover of a tabloid and $$$ is to be made!
Fame, Fortune, Social Standing will not shield you from RabiesLove! Perhaps... that is why everyone buys the magazines, tunes into the shows.... in the end we all want to know that we are not ALONE!
Maybe you do not broadcast your personal version of RabiesLove to the masses and you feel alone in your disease... YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Highly educated, wealthy, beautiful men and women have been where you are now...you are not less of a person because you have woken up to the RABID HOT MESS you may be involved in.
You can move past this... and have a great story to tell in the future about how you survived this disease and learned from it! People that's what life is LEARNING!
At first I assumed that it was just Gen Xers that fell into the RabieLove trap. The majority of this generation came from broken homes and either they first hand witnessed verbal or physical abuse and countless boyfriends/girlfriends or they lived with a single mother who worked two or three jobs and could have cared less about a relationship.
But then... I look at this younger 24 and under generation and I think... No they are infected with RabiesLove by the masses!
Example: Jersey Shore on MTV I mean I could not illustrate a more perfect image of RabiesLove than castmates Sam and Ron!
Seriously, Sam and Ron NEED to be apart, period. No one on the show wants this couple to work out because they are a RABID HOT MESS together.
This example works because they are at times ok and "in love" again this is just a phase of the disease... each fight weather alcochol induced or not becomes more verbally abusive and the disease progresses with every fight.
Sam appears to have lost her sense of "self" Ron may be the nicest guy in the world and it may truly just be Sam that brings out his destructive nature in him.
The more Sam and Ron fight the higher the ratings, people take to the message boards choosing sides and casting blame. TV GOLD!
Do you think that either one Sam or Ron sit around and WANT this crazy relationship?
It is not like everyone hasn't told them that they do not need to be in a relationship..But something keeps pulling Sam and Ron back into it again and again! (Or at least that was the case last season) People its RabiesLove!
Is this their Fairytale romance? Hell No! It's RabiesLove!
This may just be limited to the American society... let me know... but our society as a whole we LOVE Rabid Hot Messes!
Charlie Sheen...the male epitome of a Rabid Hot Mess, is on every morning show and we want MORE! How much coke does he snort? How many porn stars has he slept with? Did he last a long time? How many wives has he threatened to kill? WE WANT TO KNOW!
TV RATINGS GOLD!
Brittany Spears, Anna Nicole Smith, and Lindsey Lohan put any of these women on the cover of a tabloid and $$$ is to be made!
Fame, Fortune, Social Standing will not shield you from RabiesLove! Perhaps... that is why everyone buys the magazines, tunes into the shows.... in the end we all want to know that we are not ALONE!
Maybe you do not broadcast your personal version of RabiesLove to the masses and you feel alone in your disease... YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Highly educated, wealthy, beautiful men and women have been where you are now...you are not less of a person because you have woken up to the RABID HOT MESS you may be involved in.
You can move past this... and have a great story to tell in the future about how you survived this disease and learned from it! People that's what life is LEARNING!
Monday, March 14, 2011
The Sex is on Fire....
Sex on Fire.
Hot Sex is what most adults desire, right? The top Mens/Womens magazines each month have a different suggestion as to how we lonely souls can master seductive moves and positions to enhance our sex lives, because if we are not all having "Sex that is on Fire" something is inherently wrong with our relationships. So what happens if you find this amazing sex, and the person is a "Rabid Hot Mess"?
I surveyed 10 women and men ranging in age from 25-35. Sorry I left out the younger 18-24 simply.. because the ones I personally know in that age group have not had enough life experience to answer the questions. Sorry.
Out of 10 men and women 5 married 5 single the overwhelming response was that although they love having sex with their current partner the "Sex that is on Fire" was generally with someone from the past even though they would NEVER admit that to their significant other!
What I found interesting is the fact that when I asked the men and women if they would want to reunite with this great sex partner from the past most simply stated NO!
The dirty, kinky, exhibitionist sex was fun, but usually these ex sex partners came along with mood disorders, drug use, and were basically a "Rabid Hot Mess" and while this was exciting they now prefer more emotionally stable person to be in a relationship with. Shocking!
All admitted to the fact that sex had kept them from ending toxic relationships in the past. So my last question was "So you were completely aware that this guy/girl was crazy, psycho, basically a Rabid Hot Mess, and you stayed anyway? Why?
My favorite response was this: This one girl and I fought all the time verbally and she would throw random objects at me, she constantly accused me of cheating, she followed me around when we were not together, she even set my clothes and shit that I had at her house on fire, after a argument! But she would also surprise me with sex in the most random places and the sex was so intense that I would forget about all the psycho crap she did... well until the next time. We are not together anymore but I think of her from time to time and wonder what she is up to... but I resist the urge to call.
So in the end people who have freed themselves from the bondage of RabiesLove... do not want that life back.
The reality is people will stay in toxic relationships just for "Sex that is on Fire" if this sounds like you be careful to get out before you get burned.
Hot Sex is what most adults desire, right? The top Mens/Womens magazines each month have a different suggestion as to how we lonely souls can master seductive moves and positions to enhance our sex lives, because if we are not all having "Sex that is on Fire" something is inherently wrong with our relationships. So what happens if you find this amazing sex, and the person is a "Rabid Hot Mess"?
I surveyed 10 women and men ranging in age from 25-35. Sorry I left out the younger 18-24 simply.. because the ones I personally know in that age group have not had enough life experience to answer the questions. Sorry.
Out of 10 men and women 5 married 5 single the overwhelming response was that although they love having sex with their current partner the "Sex that is on Fire" was generally with someone from the past even though they would NEVER admit that to their significant other!
What I found interesting is the fact that when I asked the men and women if they would want to reunite with this great sex partner from the past most simply stated NO!
The dirty, kinky, exhibitionist sex was fun, but usually these ex sex partners came along with mood disorders, drug use, and were basically a "Rabid Hot Mess" and while this was exciting they now prefer more emotionally stable person to be in a relationship with. Shocking!
All admitted to the fact that sex had kept them from ending toxic relationships in the past. So my last question was "So you were completely aware that this guy/girl was crazy, psycho, basically a Rabid Hot Mess, and you stayed anyway? Why?
My favorite response was this: This one girl and I fought all the time verbally and she would throw random objects at me, she constantly accused me of cheating, she followed me around when we were not together, she even set my clothes and shit that I had at her house on fire, after a argument! But she would also surprise me with sex in the most random places and the sex was so intense that I would forget about all the psycho crap she did... well until the next time. We are not together anymore but I think of her from time to time and wonder what she is up to... but I resist the urge to call.
So in the end people who have freed themselves from the bondage of RabiesLove... do not want that life back.
The reality is people will stay in toxic relationships just for "Sex that is on Fire" if this sounds like you be careful to get out before you get burned.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
The Rabbid EX Factor
Today has reminded me of a vital piece of the RabiesLove puzzle that we have yet to discuss...
The EX Factor...
Perhaps you or someone you know was able to free themselves of the bondage of an unhealthy relationship only to encounter the Rabid EX!!
The Rabid EX is the person who CANNOT let go of the relationship!
Symptoms include but are not limited to Stalking you and your home, Destruction of property left at their home, hacking into your email and facebook,constant calling and texting!
This does not occur just at the beginning of the Break Up... no this will last weeks, months and even years.
The Rabid EX will interfere with new relationships, even stalk your family and friends! Let's clarify this is not healthy behavior...
Basically a Restraining Order may be necessary.
Today's example...
Couple mid 30s dated all through high school they firmly believed they would be "together 4ever" but they had a violent relationship, verbally and physically, began drug use together... then the guy around 21 decided to get sober and SHE left him. Now he actually was ok with the breakup and started a new life.
The female changed her mind... when he started dating other girls and began stalking him.
Fast forward.. over 14 years have past. Both are now married with children and this female STILL about every 6 to 8 months will try to contact him!
The guy simply does not respond period. At what point... I mean after 14 years you would think that she would just STOP?!
But once infected with RabiesLove you can go into remission but it is ALWAYS there!
How would you respond to this if you are the guys wife? Or her husband?
The Rabid EX can cause many problems. It is important that you DO NOT engage in their attempts. The guy in the story told me he used to cuss her out when she called... but she told him that "if she could still make him angry then he still cared about her" so DO NOT respond! DO NOT answer the phone, Reply to texts or emails!
I hope that none of you have to encounter the Rabid EX Factor!!
More importantly "if" you are reading this and you sadly realized that there is a chance that you indeed ARE a Rabid EX... just STOP!
Seriously! The ugly truth is simply... he/she DOES NOT want to be with you!! If they did you would not be the EX! Sorry it is sad... but TRUE!
The EX Factor...
Perhaps you or someone you know was able to free themselves of the bondage of an unhealthy relationship only to encounter the Rabid EX!!
The Rabid EX is the person who CANNOT let go of the relationship!
Symptoms include but are not limited to Stalking you and your home, Destruction of property left at their home, hacking into your email and facebook,constant calling and texting!
This does not occur just at the beginning of the Break Up... no this will last weeks, months and even years.
The Rabid EX will interfere with new relationships, even stalk your family and friends! Let's clarify this is not healthy behavior...
Basically a Restraining Order may be necessary.
Today's example...
Couple mid 30s dated all through high school they firmly believed they would be "together 4ever" but they had a violent relationship, verbally and physically, began drug use together... then the guy around 21 decided to get sober and SHE left him. Now he actually was ok with the breakup and started a new life.
The female changed her mind... when he started dating other girls and began stalking him.
Fast forward.. over 14 years have past. Both are now married with children and this female STILL about every 6 to 8 months will try to contact him!
The guy simply does not respond period. At what point... I mean after 14 years you would think that she would just STOP?!
But once infected with RabiesLove you can go into remission but it is ALWAYS there!
How would you respond to this if you are the guys wife? Or her husband?
The Rabid EX can cause many problems. It is important that you DO NOT engage in their attempts. The guy in the story told me he used to cuss her out when she called... but she told him that "if she could still make him angry then he still cared about her" so DO NOT respond! DO NOT answer the phone, Reply to texts or emails!
I hope that none of you have to encounter the Rabid EX Factor!!
More importantly "if" you are reading this and you sadly realized that there is a chance that you indeed ARE a Rabid EX... just STOP!
Seriously! The ugly truth is simply... he/she DOES NOT want to be with you!! If they did you would not be the EX! Sorry it is sad... but TRUE!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Japan
To all my readers in Japan, my thoughts and prayers are with you all during this disaster! Much Love from the USA!!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
The Case of the "Rabid Cheater."..
It is so funny how during the course of a day you can just run into people that you have not seen in years!
Well this happened to me today, which of course, has inspired yet another RabiesLove topic!
So I am shopping in a near by town and run into an old friend who has the classic story what I am going to call the "Rabid Cheater".
The "Rabid Cheater" is a term that I have invented, of course, to describe a male/female who is infected with RabiesLove for one person...yet they cheat on this person ALL the time.
Now I have been very clear that RabiesLove is a toxic relationship that revolves around obsessive compulsive behavior by one or both people involved.
The "Rabid Cheater" is psychologists dream money patient because this individual has an unhealthy obsession with their significant other...but at the same time the "Rabid Cheater" must feed their ego with countless sex partners... all while professing their dying affection for their primary partner.
Case in point: James is really only moderately attractive he is about average height not really overweight but.. James could use a gym membership.
What James lacks in appearance he makes up for in confidence. Women LOVE him.
James prides his self in his conquests, he has since high school. In college James meets a stunning red head, Angel, they become infected with RabiesLove instantaneously.
James is obsessed with Angel he decides this is "the one" his "soul mate"! Angel feels the same way wedding plans are made. Sounds like a Love story ... no, see James has been having casual sex with ... basically anyone that says yes.
Angel has no idea. The difference between a "Rabid Cheater" and a regular cheater is the "Rabid Cheater" has such a narsasitic personality that he/she feels entitlement for cheating.
They also LIE when caught and somehow make the person feel as though "they" are at fault.
Angel's friends tried to warn her... James had hit on all of them.
RabiesLove blinded Angel from the truth.
Today when I ran into James he told me that Angel had finally left him... this is five years AFTER the wedding!!
This "Rabid Cheater" professed his undying LOVE for her and his confidence that they would renew their life together as soon as she realized that "she" was wrong?!
Seriously "Rabid Cheater"?! As if it were completely out of his control to zip up his pants!
"If" by chance you are unfortunate enough to become infected by the "Rabid Cheater" please remove your mind and your body parts far away from this person before you get "branded" with an STD!
Have a safe and happy weekend!
Well this happened to me today, which of course, has inspired yet another RabiesLove topic!
So I am shopping in a near by town and run into an old friend who has the classic story what I am going to call the "Rabid Cheater".
The "Rabid Cheater" is a term that I have invented, of course, to describe a male/female who is infected with RabiesLove for one person...yet they cheat on this person ALL the time.
Now I have been very clear that RabiesLove is a toxic relationship that revolves around obsessive compulsive behavior by one or both people involved.
The "Rabid Cheater" is psychologists dream money patient because this individual has an unhealthy obsession with their significant other...but at the same time the "Rabid Cheater" must feed their ego with countless sex partners... all while professing their dying affection for their primary partner.
Case in point: James is really only moderately attractive he is about average height not really overweight but.. James could use a gym membership.
What James lacks in appearance he makes up for in confidence. Women LOVE him.
James prides his self in his conquests, he has since high school. In college James meets a stunning red head, Angel, they become infected with RabiesLove instantaneously.
James is obsessed with Angel he decides this is "the one" his "soul mate"! Angel feels the same way wedding plans are made. Sounds like a Love story ... no, see James has been having casual sex with ... basically anyone that says yes.
Angel has no idea. The difference between a "Rabid Cheater" and a regular cheater is the "Rabid Cheater" has such a narsasitic personality that he/she feels entitlement for cheating.
They also LIE when caught and somehow make the person feel as though "they" are at fault.
Angel's friends tried to warn her... James had hit on all of them.
RabiesLove blinded Angel from the truth.
Today when I ran into James he told me that Angel had finally left him... this is five years AFTER the wedding!!
This "Rabid Cheater" professed his undying LOVE for her and his confidence that they would renew their life together as soon as she realized that "she" was wrong?!
Seriously "Rabid Cheater"?! As if it were completely out of his control to zip up his pants!
"If" by chance you are unfortunate enough to become infected by the "Rabid Cheater" please remove your mind and your body parts far away from this person before you get "branded" with an STD!
Have a safe and happy weekend!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Sunshine and Rainbows
When life throws you a shitty day... instead of complaining when in fact no one really wants to hear your baggage, why not proclaim "It's just sunshine and rainbows today!"
Can you hear the sarcasm??
Another day... another story... here we go!
Attorney, C cup, 115 pounds, five foot five inches tall.
Winner?!
Ah, no.. not exactly.
Can you imagine being called a stupid bitch on a daily basis?
Can you even fathom that a beautiful busty 27 year old, who by day has a powerful position at a law firm, goes home in the evening to a psycho boyfriend who beats her with his words??
Carrie insists that Jonathan was completely different when they met three years ago.
Really?!
I somewhat disagree.
If a person becomes an addict/alcoholic or relapses while you are together then yes... he/she was indeed different before the this milestone.
If however, there is no medical disease involved then... chances are... that the person was psycho when you two started dating and YOU were too blind to see past the "representative" to the "real" person.
Ok for those of you who are unaware of the "representative" let me further recap.
Everyone who is self aware... admits that when we meet people, we are simply introduced to their "representative". A person puts on their best persona when meeting new people. Especially when dating!!
Eventually though... "the representative has left the building" and whom you are left with is the "real person".
Ok back to my friend Carrie.
Over drinks with myself and another "inner circle" friend she continues to complain about Jonathan and how his verbal attacks have left her feeling almost like a... victim.
Good friends that we are.. we instruct her to drop his ass and move on to hot doctor that appears single.
Carrie's response "I know I need to move on BUT ladies the sex is unreal! He has the most beautiful penis I have ever seen!"
We all burst out laughing and continue our bottle of CakeBread.
Carrie and Jonathan are STILL together even though we all know that she can and should do better for herself.
Moral of todays story...
Carrie is an educated and beautiful young woman but RabiesLove has prohibited her ability to see the toxic relationship for what it is......
I cannot express how important it is to remove your self from these relationships at the first signs of a "Rabid Hot Mess!"
Also acknowledge your weakness... I'll start!
I smoked today... but tomorrow is another day of Sunshine and Rainbows!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
I WANT To SMOKE!!
Greetings!! It is my utmost heart-felt wish that all of you are having a wonderful week!!
Today is NOT going well for me!
I confess only to you... I smoke.
Do NOT tell my family!! They would be horribly disappointed in my lack of concern for my lungs.
I am over 18 well actually I am over 21 and smoking is LEGAL but it is becoming so taboo in the USA!!
"If" you smoke in public its is as if you are snorting coke off of a porn star!! No wait... it is now more socially acceptable to snort coke than to light up a Marlboro in some public venues!
What does any of this have to do with RabiesLove????
Everything.
I am an adult... I realize that smoking is bad for my health... I also LOVE every cig I smoke! Especially with a glass of wine or after a great meal or my ultimate is after a mind blowing orgasm!!!
Now the same can be said of my toxic relationship!
The relationship is BAD for me and my health!! This relationship causes me to feel anxiety, anger, depression ... even isolation!
BUT... there are those drug induced feelings of euphria when things are manic between us... it is US against the WORLD!
Like I said I WANT to smoke...
I have now gone 19 hours without a smoke!!!
I can think of nothing else!!
The same is true about RabieLove when infected you can think of nothing else!!
So maybe I'll last or maybe I will fail and go buy a pack!
Wish me Luck.... I am going to need it!
Today is NOT going well for me!
I confess only to you... I smoke.
Do NOT tell my family!! They would be horribly disappointed in my lack of concern for my lungs.
I am over 18 well actually I am over 21 and smoking is LEGAL but it is becoming so taboo in the USA!!
"If" you smoke in public its is as if you are snorting coke off of a porn star!! No wait... it is now more socially acceptable to snort coke than to light up a Marlboro in some public venues!
What does any of this have to do with RabiesLove????
Everything.
I am an adult... I realize that smoking is bad for my health... I also LOVE every cig I smoke! Especially with a glass of wine or after a great meal or my ultimate is after a mind blowing orgasm!!!
Now the same can be said of my toxic relationship!
The relationship is BAD for me and my health!! This relationship causes me to feel anxiety, anger, depression ... even isolation!
BUT... there are those drug induced feelings of euphria when things are manic between us... it is US against the WORLD!
Like I said I WANT to smoke...
I have now gone 19 hours without a smoke!!!
I can think of nothing else!!
The same is true about RabieLove when infected you can think of nothing else!!
So maybe I'll last or maybe I will fail and go buy a pack!
Wish me Luck.... I am going to need it!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
It's A Little Too Late...
Now I keep advising everyone to walk no run away from thier toxic relationships but what if you are married?
Ok, so I know a friend of a friend ...
Here's the story.
Couple meets at a bar in Houston, TX. John and Michelle
Both are college seniors, very attractive people, both NOT looking for a realtionship.
(It's funny that when YOU ARE NOT looking for someone is usually when you find them)
The chemistry was undeniable, the conversations were intense, they both fell hard fast! They waited to have sex for like three months..... that is a long time by anyone's standards.
So they have sex... and now they BOTH have full blown RabiesLove.
John and Michelle were crazy about each other! They date a year graduate college and get married.
Happily Ever After... NO... It's RabiesLove there is no "Happily Ever After"
John and Michelle have a typically normal life for about eight years. Suddenly life becomes to much for Michelle she is drinking, snorting coke, sleeping with random people.
Michelle stills has RabiesLove for John... she still wants to be with him... but not she is an ADDICT. Michelle did not want to be an addict... who does? Charlie Sheen? Just kidding! Michelle got bored with John.. RabiesLove is a form of addiction - you are addicted to the person.. or rather the "feeling" or "high" that you feel when you are around this person of interest.
Like most addictions though you will hit your peak high and not feel "high" anymore.
Michelle just found another avenue to feel "high".
What about John? This is a good guy - the one that girls want to bring home with them! John should walk away... he has tried several times in the last four years!
John loves Michelle and even though she has aputated his pride he keeps holding on the girl that he met in a bar in Houston.
It's a little too late for John... he will keep trying to get Michelle clean and sober.
It's a little too late for Michelle.... she was never told that she had an addictive personality and bipolar.
This story is not over because they are STILL together.. even thugh everyone that knows them sees the damage staying in this now toxic realtionship is doing to both of them.
It's a little too late for "happily ever after".
What would you do? Would you stand by that person? Would you leave?
I hope that none of you ever have to find out!
Ok, so I know a friend of a friend ...
Here's the story.
Couple meets at a bar in Houston, TX. John and Michelle
Both are college seniors, very attractive people, both NOT looking for a realtionship.
(It's funny that when YOU ARE NOT looking for someone is usually when you find them)
The chemistry was undeniable, the conversations were intense, they both fell hard fast! They waited to have sex for like three months..... that is a long time by anyone's standards.
So they have sex... and now they BOTH have full blown RabiesLove.
John and Michelle were crazy about each other! They date a year graduate college and get married.
Happily Ever After... NO... It's RabiesLove there is no "Happily Ever After"
John and Michelle have a typically normal life for about eight years. Suddenly life becomes to much for Michelle she is drinking, snorting coke, sleeping with random people.
Michelle stills has RabiesLove for John... she still wants to be with him... but not she is an ADDICT. Michelle did not want to be an addict... who does? Charlie Sheen? Just kidding! Michelle got bored with John.. RabiesLove is a form of addiction - you are addicted to the person.. or rather the "feeling" or "high" that you feel when you are around this person of interest.
Like most addictions though you will hit your peak high and not feel "high" anymore.
Michelle just found another avenue to feel "high".
What about John? This is a good guy - the one that girls want to bring home with them! John should walk away... he has tried several times in the last four years!
John loves Michelle and even though she has aputated his pride he keeps holding on the girl that he met in a bar in Houston.
It's a little too late for John... he will keep trying to get Michelle clean and sober.
It's a little too late for Michelle.... she was never told that she had an addictive personality and bipolar.
This story is not over because they are STILL together.. even thugh everyone that knows them sees the damage staying in this now toxic realtionship is doing to both of them.
It's a little too late for "happily ever after".
What would you do? Would you stand by that person? Would you leave?
I hope that none of you ever have to find out!
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